Taking Time

I am writing to the sound of a steady rain, enjoying the fact that I can allow myself this time to indulge in something that I really want to do. Perhaps that is one of the lessons that I have learned over the years. It is just as healthy to take some time for oneself as it is to get things done that are calling for attention. I have learned that most things will wait and few things are as urgent as I once thought they were. As a stay-at-home Mom, I am not sure that I gave much attention to my own needs or desires. There were always so many things to do that I rarely gave myself much thought. I think that was a mistake. No, I don't regret the time I spent doing things for and with my girls, or all the volunteer work I did at their schools and at church but, looking back, I think it would have been beneficial for me to have used some of my time for me. How I would have managed it is hard to say, but we all need to make time for the important things in our lives, and that certainly qualifies as something important.

Priorities

I would like to say, at this stage of my life, that I am developing new priorities. In a sense that is true and yet looking through my old journals from twenty years ago and more, I see that some of my priorities have not changed at all; some things are timeless, important no matter at what stage of life we find ourselves. A recurring theme for me is relationships: relationships with God, my family, my friends. Another one is taking good care of my body: eating right, exercising, taking care of my appearance. I struggle with this one. Although I can see that I have grown over the years in regards to relationships, I see very little progress in this area. |Yet, I suppose this could still be classified in the realm of relationships, for the way I treat this body of mine says a lot about my relationship with myself. It speaks of where self-care fits in with my priorities and this gives me cause for reflection. I know that I do not care for myself in the way that I should, even though I do have some health issues which should put this issue at the front and centre. Funny how easy it is to focus on others and how easy it is to forget about ourselves. When Jesus said that we should love our neighbours as we love ourselves, the implication was that we already do love ourselves. It is easy to gloss over that second phrase.

Best Laid Plans

Even at this time of relative freedom, I find that life does get in the way of my plans; schedules are interrupted by anything from illness to last minute requests. I suppose that is what life is really about-not so much what we have planned, but the interruptions themselves. After all, life is really a series of interruptions, whether self-imposed or imposed by others. I suspect that many of us would use our time (at least some of it) differently than we do, but if we can not learn how to appreciate the way that it is being used, rather than how we would like to be using it, we will miss out on a great part of our lives. We can plan all we like, but the only plan we really need is to learn how to live, to appreciate the moment (or at least learn from it) and to allow each moment to bring us into another. When it comes right down to it, the important thing is what we are doing now. Past is past and the future is unknown (sometimes non-existent) and so to live as if past and future are the only periods of consequence is to miss out on this gift called life.

Learning to rest

It is fair to say that I am currently in a time of waiting. We tend to look at waiting as a waste of time in our culture, but I am finding it to be quite refreshing in some ways. Grant it, I had to come to grips with the fact that I was in a time of rest and transition and that it was okay for me to be there. Like most of us, I felt I should be "doing" something. As I struggled with family issues and health issues, I found myself in this place and it was a wonderful surprise to me when I realized that God was allowing me to be there; He was allowing me to take the time to be renewed through relaxation. This does not mean that my days are empty. I do have a mandate, even in rest. God has given me permission to focus on some simple things, things that are often left on the periphery. That mandate consists of 5 items: 1) to be available to my daughter (who is homeschooling) 2) to work on making my house a comfortable home 3) to read everything I can get my hands on (I really like this one!) 4) to experiment with gluten free cooking (I have celiac disease) and 5) to exercise and focus on healthy living. Although this is technically meant to be carried out within a certain period of time, I am happy to report that it has altered my way of looking at life in general and I know that I will take the lessons I am learning right now into the next phase of my life, as well.

I Lost My Blog!

Alright. I suppose I deserved this. With good intentions, I started this blog last summer and then promptly abandoned it. As a result, I lost it. Well, temporarily. I suppose if that is the only thing I lose this year, I should be thankful. (Well, I would like to lose a bit of weight, but that is a whole different story!)
When I began this blog, I really wanted to use it to explore and record a new stage in my life, one in which I have "graduated" from the hands- on parenting, which has occupied most of the last 20 years, into new adventures. My focus is changing and with it there comes new opportunities to use the time that is before me. Opportunities to learn, develop new skills and maybe even spend a little time learning to appreciate just being still. This is a time to develop new relationships and enrich old ones, to finish tasks that have been left undone, to grow talents that I may have not even been aware of having! It is a time to focus on physical, mental and spiritual health in a way that the busy-ness of life as a "stay-at-home" mom did not allow me to do. And, it is a great time to find out how I can contribute to my family, my community, my world in a new way!
If you are ready for a little bit of reflection, some self-examination and a new adventure, please join me on this journey!